Refinement

Mum is starting to doubt that I am an actual real dog... I have been telling them forever that I am not a dog I am a little person but they never listen anyway, so at least it is good that she is starting to doubt.

So what made Mum start to see the light you will ask me?... Well last time we were going for a stroll through the neighbourhood. At the end of our street Mum suddenly went all "ohhh" "poor little thing" blah blah blah. So I looked at what she was looking at. And it appeared that a blue tongue lizard met his maker as they say. The blue tongue was dead as a dodo with no obvious trace of damage. Not sure what happened to him... However, I went to have a little sniff. So do not be alarmed I sometimes go and sniff dead things if they are still in a rather entire state. I DO NOT go close to decomposing things ewwwwww!!!!! I still do not touch the entire dead things, just sniff. Would you put dead things with all the feathers/skin/entrails still on/in in your mouth?? I need things to be alive and running for fun, or a bit of processing and presentation for my food please!...

Anyway, usually I just take a sniff and walk on, I am not sure what it was in this case but gosh just one sniff made me a bit queasy... Yes right Mum stop making faces and dobbing me in... Alright I just got overtaken by nausea and had a right chuck while looking rather pitiful... Happy now Mum? I said it.... It is not my fault if I am a sensitive little thing.
Now Mum is saying that I am poncey and not a tough boy and that maybe we need to go in the countryside for a bit because I am too much of a city-slicker....
Whatever Mum when you are finished with your metaphysical questions, I need my pedicure after my spa so if you are looking for me I will be listening to the radio on my day bed...